What did 2017 mean to you?
To me it was the fourth year of life for my daughter and the second for my son, year eight of my marriage and year 42 of my life. I landed two incredible corporate gigs that took me to BC and Alaska and photographed the third wedding for a family of three sisters that I was looking forward to all year. That wedding was one of 103 sessions I photographed in 2017. 103. That number is boggling to me, I don’t know where the time came from to shoot and edit all that work and still be a mama, wife, sister, daughter and friend.
This year was the first year that I was a full time photographer, kind of weird to say after 20 years in the industry. I put my government job on hold and my mom in a bit of a panic (don’t worry Mom, it’ll be okay). And at the end of the year, or coming up to it, after a short but impactful back and forth with a long-time client, I started to realize that what I was valuing so deeply for my clients and friends, I wasn’t valuing for myself.
I realized that for a long time I’ve been trying to fit into someone else’s mold (many other people’s molds actually) and that often left me feeling empty despite all the love, happiness, and beauty I see every day at home and at work. I let someone who always used to like my posts but after an exchange stopped liking and commenting, really get me down.
I realize now looking back on my year that I started my “resolutions” in September. I took a deep breath and joined an intense and amazing boot camp with Andrea Robertson, and started to feel like myself again, but better. I stopped following a lot of people in social media that were just making me feel bad, left out, or not good enough, and started to focus on work with meaning again. I deleted Facebook from my phone and now try to leave my phone plugged in at my desk as much as possible, especially when I’m with my family. I started to pair down on things and make more space for me, my people and my pets. I started to leave behind toxic people in my life. I decided that one of the most important things for me to do everyday is walk my dog and prepare a healthy meal for my family. I think these things should be doable. I’m scared for 2018 because it’s year two as full time business owner but I think being scared is good.
So, I hope to bring you some new inspiration this year through beautiful photos and personal thoughts. I have an exciting work trip coming up in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and beautiful couples getting married in Ontario and Quebec, my first full feature wedding in Martha Stewart weddings coming up at the end of January, lots of new content coming up on my website, and year five of Photos for Phoebe in the works. I plan on being totally present when my children laugh and cry, and showing up at more of my husband’s races to cheer him on. I look forward to being strong for those who need me and being present for them and me.
It’s going to be a good year guys, I can feel it.